In Those Moments
by scapenova
Summary: A one scene fic filling in the finale of Die Me, Dichotomy. Exploring more into what was going through both John and Aeryn's minds right before her chair hit the ice. FINISHED


_This is a one-shot story meant to fill in a bit of the scene during Farscape's season 2 finale, 'Die Me, Dichotomy', when Aeryn's jettison chair goes under the ice and John/Scorpius clone is forced to look on in horror. That scene was a major blow to all the characters, Crichton in particular. So, being in the angsty-writing mood I have been in, I decided to elaborate on that and delve a bit more into both John's thoughs and Aeryn's right before she hits the ice._

**In Those Moments**

Crichton had a blurred awareness of his own self, despite Scorpius's control. It was an odd sensation, even for all he had been through.. watching himself, his own hands... send the module flying down straight onto the top of Aeryn's prowler. A part deep inside himself responded. He wanted to scream out, and stop everything that was happening, but it was as if someone else had complete control of his physical body, and John was simply a viewer on the sidelines. He caught a flash of the prowler's top smash in, then immediately drop downwards in a sudden swift movement.

"Aeryn..." Crichton groaned in anguish as the damn Scorpius clone chuckled maliciously. "Terribly sorry, didn't see you there.." his barely concealed glee sent a wave of horror straight through John's body.

Aeryn glanced up the split microt before John... no, Scorpius' module slammed down on top of her prowler. The impact slammed her forward against the controls, and then her body bounced up and back against the seat in one quick motion. Wincing, Aeryn felt warm blood on the back of her head, but there wasn't any time to consider a minor scrape. The impact had severely damaged her prowler, and although she didn't know yet how bad it was, she knew instantly it wasn't good. Quickly going back to the controls and checking her downward fall, she swore as loud as she could. "FRELL!" staring upward, she caught a quick view of the clone's face gloating down at her before the module banked out of view and behind her.

The prowler was still going down... Aeryn bit back another curse and yanked hard on a switch, the landing gear coming out. She turned and yelled into the intercom- "I am under attack! I repeat, I am under attack!"

D'argo's rough, deep voice spoke over the line. "Aeryn." She heard his voice but couldn't say anything, the prowler was spinning down towards the planet's icy surface with dizzying speed. Although she wasn't panicking yet, she was smart enough to realize that her situation was quickly heading from bad to worse.

"Aeryn!"

D'argo bellowed, and Aeryn could clearly hear the panic and fear in the luxan warrior's voice as he called her name. She yelled back, still working on the controls feverishly as John's module hovered nearby. For once she ignored it.

"Attempting to gain ejection altitude!"

Scorpius's low voice came on over the speaker again. "I take it our encounter is terminated, officer Sun."

Aeryn's blood ran cold- hearing that.. that, evil being speaking from John's body had a horrible effect on her. She'd always prided herself on peacekeeper ways, and one of them was not allowing anyone else to affect her in a personal way. But since the first moment she had met John Crichton, something deep inside of her had been changing. At first she'd tried desperately to deny it. but as time went on, she began to welcome it, and even admitted to herself that she had feelings for the sometimes ridiculous, awkward human. At first, he'd appeared to her as nothing more than an object in the way. But she'd quickly discovered that he was so much more, a fellow kindred soul with the spirit of a warrior.

"All options depleted! requesting position track. Requesting position track!" Aeryn called.

"Climb! eject!" She heard Crais' voice yell over the intercom, and was startled to realize it was concern and fear that she heard in their old foe's voice. A twinge of something twisted her heart, and she responded as best she could. The prowler was shaking even more violently, and if she didn't get out now...

"Ejecting now!"

Aeryn felt the blast of freezing air take her breath away as she reached forward and pulled the eject switch forward, dropping her chair straight out the bottom of her prowler with dizzying speed. She pulled her arms in and ducked her head down, feeling and hearing the eerily hight pitched whistling as her chair kept falling, straight down towards the planet.

"Well done, officer Sun..." Scorpius' laughing voice snapped through to Aeryn, and she gritted her teeth in rage. _John... _"Are you still conscious?"

"Frell you!" Aeryn gritted back, feeling the tang of blood as she spat into the intercom at Scorpy.But despite her anger she felt her senses beginning to return to normal, the chair had slowed it's descent after the initial ejection and was cruising along downwards, with Aeryn tucked safely in it. She twisted her head around and looked up, just in to see the farscape module. John's module. Flying along just overhead. This time she couldn't see Crichton... _Scorpius'_ face, but she knew without a doubt that he was up there, watching her.

_I swear to you, I'm going to rip you right out of John's mind and ..._

An explosion of brilliant orange flames burst over to her left, and a cloud of snow blasted upwards from the impact of her prowler slamming into the mountainside.

"Ohh, fireworks." Scorpius chuckled.

Inwardly, John was tensed as tight as a wired spring. His heart had dropped straight out of the bottom of his body when he saw Aeryn eject, but now that she appeared to be okay for the moment he managed to breathe easier. Scorpius spoke to him just at the moment he thought- _She's going to be okay. Aeryn's going to be okay._

"I hate to disapoint you, Crichton, but your girlfriend doesn't realize something. She is in fact, hurtling straight towards a frozen lake. I'm sure the ice isn't thick enough to hold up to the impact of that chair... he trailed off and let John come to the conclusion himself.

_Noooo! Crichton's mind screamed out in horror, and through Scorpius' eyes he watched Aeryn continue her downward fall, only now the mind numbing terror was back. This can't be happening... no, this cannot be happening... not to Aeryn, I couldn't have done this... please, let this all be some twisted dream I'm going to wake up from..._

"Oh, but you DID do this, John. All because of you, Aeryn is going to die." Putting emphasis on the last word, Scorpius listened as Aeryn spoke to D'argo, telling him everything was alright... that the eject had worked... she was fine...

_Oh, please God... Crichton had never felt more pain before in his life, not even when his mind had been probed by Scorpiusm. This was like all the worst pain he could imagine all rolled into one package._

Almost innocently, Scorpy spoke through the com. "Officer Sun, in deference to that part of Crichton which still cares... I inform you that you descend not over solid ground... but a frozen lake."

Aeryn sat deathly still, then glanced over the side of the chair and in growing dread, realized that he was right. Now that she'd gotten closer, the ice floes below were painfully obvious. Staring at the lake rapidly approaching below her, she punched the talk button. "He's right. D'argo, Crais, do you have my position?"

"Affirmative." Crais' voice sounded shaky for once, an emotion that was totally unlike the peacekeeper commander she knew. Or though she'd known.

"I've got you Aeryn, can you avoid it?" D'argo sounded much less panicked than Crais did, being D'argo afterall. but there was still rarely seen worry, both in his voice, and if Aeryn had been there to see it, his face. He was making no attempt to disguise that.

Aeryn suddenly knew with cold realization, nothing could stop her. This chair was taking her down now, and there was little doubt in her mind that she wouldn't survive the impact. The thought filled her with a calm, peaceful sensation. _So this is what it feels like, to know you're going to die..._ "Negative, I go down where this chair takes me down!" she took a deep breath. "Look, if I don't make it..."

Crais interupted. "You ARE going to make this, Aeryn Sun. You've come too far fighting for... for Crichton, and us all, to give up now. Your jets will weaken the ice, I repeat, separate before touchdown!"

Meanwhile, John's mind was spinning so fast, he couldn't keep track of his thoughts. They were filled with a constant blur of images, mostly memories of the moment in his life right before the jump through the wormhole that changed his life forever. But through everything that flew through his head, one thing stayed constant. Aeryn. He felt something changing, and he also felt Scorpius' surprise. A burst of light lit up in John's eyes, and suddenly he was aware of his physcial sensations again for a brief moment- his hands clutching the module's commands, his back against the hard seat, his head in pain... more lights, and again the feeling of being in a shell enveloped John. _No! _he was going to fight this, for Aeryn's sake. _Damn you Scorpy, get the frell out of my head!"_

He struggled to speak, and Scorpius' voice came out, but broken up into syllables. "Su- Su- Officer Sun. Ahhhhh... didn't hurt much..."

Suddenly Crichton felt control flood back into his body, and Scorpius' voice was crammed into the back of his mind. It was still there, but now John had the upper hand. He had control of his body again! ecstatic, he punched the comlink on.

"Aeryn! Aeryn, can you comply?" he gasped, breathing hard, breathless for her response.

Aeryn was busy struggling with the wide, red safetly restraints on the chair, strapping her in. They weren't budging for some reason, and a numb feeling was filling her. That broken up voice cut into her fight to release herself, however. A twinge of annoyance was her only reaction to hearing that damn clone's voice again. It was strange, what the knowledge of impending death could do to you. She replied sarcastically; "Negative, the harness is jammed. Your frelling tire must have damaged the mechanism!"

Aeryn, listen to me. This is John." Crichton sucked in a breath and waited, his heart thudding in his chest and he sat there, listening to the crackling silence on the other end. _Oh please baby, believe that it's me... I'm back..._

A long pause, than Aeryn's voice crackled over the line. "Yeah, is it really you John?" there was still sarcasm in her voice, but John could detect a trace of... hope.

"Yes. Listen to me. You don't want to be in that chair when you touch down." Stopping with the breath caught in his throat, John stared anxiously out the window at Aeryn's chair.

"Well, this harness won't release. I don't have anything to break it-"

_Lord, no._

"Aeryn, you HAVE to get out of the damn chair!" Crichton circled around Aeryn's descending chair futily, his panic level rising by the second.

"I don't have any choice!" Aeryn screamed back, and this time everyone could hear the dread in her voice. She knew exactly what was going to happen when she hit that ice. There was no way the impact-

John's chest felt like an enourmous hand, made of molten lead was slowly crushing his chest. "C'mon, please, do something... so something..." he heard his own voice speaking, but again it was like he was in a shell that wasn't his own body, and the real John Crichton was trapped somewhere inside, unable to do anything but watch in horror. Only this time, it was fear for Aeryn's life that terrified him more than anything Scorpius had ever done to him.

"I don't have any options." he voice had a sudden note of finalit, and John made fists so tight that his knuckles turned pure white. Staring intensely out the side of his module, he struggled to find Aeryn's face and lock onto it.

"Baby, you're not going to die like this. You are not going to die like this!"

A long silence, that suddenly Aeryn's rough voice murmered over the com. "I... I hope you meant what you said in the neural cluster. I did."

For a split second that seemed to last an eternity, aeryn turned her head upward and stared straight into John's eyes with a look of sad resignation. Helpless, the hand crushing him into oblivion, Crichton couldn't tear his eyes away. Suddenly, the eternal moment was over. Aeryn tucked her head and arms in as tight as she possibly could, and the next moment her chair slammed straight into the lake's layer of ice. The weight and speed of her chair broke straight through, carrying Aeryn with it into a spray of bone chillingly cold water.

"Nooo!" Crichton screamed, slamming his fists against the side of his module's window in a helpless rage. "No, No, NOOO! Aeryn!"

Inside Moya, D'argo, Zhaan, Rygel, Stark and Chiana stook at the bridge in frozen silence, just as helpess as the man they now heard shouting as if his heart would shatter.

Inside Talyn, Crais felt a horrible moment of shock at the second Aeryn broke through the ice, and both his own loss and Talyn's merged into an intense pain. He flung back his head and screamed, a sound of horrible loss like John's. "NOO!"

Whether she had felt prepared for it or not, the unbelievable cold cut through Aeryn's suit like a thousand knives and stabbed her body in a single numbing explosion of pain. For a moment, her chair didn't go under and stayed half in and half out of the water. Dimly, she could still see the farscape module circling frantically overhead, and she managed to wrench her arms free of the straps and struggled to keep herself afloat. Her entire head went underwater, and then she managed to struggled up again, hair plasted across her face.

"Crichton! Cri-!" Aeryn's hand slapped uselessly against the water one last time before the chair dragged her under. The world underneath was almost beautiful. her fogging mind grasped as why she thought this... it was so ridiculous. It was so... cold. She had never felt a cold this horrifyingly intense, and for a second she wondered why she was even still alive. _John... _Her hair continued to float up, a mass of long, lovely black hair as she slowly sank into the depths. _I love you. You gave me a reason to live, and I hope you know that you changed me for the better. I wish..."_

John suddenly couldn't feel anything. He was in shock, and trying to grasp what had happened. Every fiber of his being screamed a protest. Aeryn had to be okay, she had a plan, she was okay, this was going to turn out to be just another nightmare, maybe Scorpy was behind it, and any second now he was going to wake up and be in the aurora chair with that damn mind device inside his head. Any second now. Any second... it was just a horribly nightmare.

But his pain was real, this was only too real. And this was all his fault...

_"Oh... God. What have I done?" _

the end.

If you're horrified at this ending and want to know more, what happens and all that good stuff... the story is actually continued in the opening episode of Farscape season 3, "Season of Death". I claim none of the actual episode script or characters, those are (C) Jim Henson.


End file.
